Family Gatherings During The Holiday Season:
The Pros, The Cons, Some Practical Tips And Some Things To Avoid
The holiday season is often seen as a time to reconnect with family and to celebrate traditions. However, family gatherings can also bring challenges. For some, these moments are opportunities to create joyful memories; for others, they may feel like navigating a social minefield. Understanding the pros and cons of holiday get-togethers, along with actionable strategies for managing potential pitfalls, can help you make the most of your family time.
The Pros
Strengthening Bonds. The holidays provide a natural opportunity to deepen relationships with relatives. Shared time around the dinner table or during family traditions can reinforce connections that may have weakened over time. These moments of reconnection can become the foundation for stronger, more enduring bonds.
Creating Memories. Holiday traditions, whether they involve decorating a tree, playing board games, or watching favorite movies, create lasting memories. These shared experiences can become cherished stories passed down through generations.
Fostering Your Support System. Family gatherings often offer more than just a meal—they can provide emotional support and a sense of belonging. For individuals going through difficult times, engaging meaningfully with important others can be especially grounding and comforting.
Honoring Cultural Traditions. Celebrating the holidays together often involves honoring cultural or religious customs. These rituals foster shared identity and continuity, particularly for younger family members who benefit from seeing (and being part of) traditions upheld.
Sharing Resources. Holiday preparations can feel overwhelming and isolating when done alone. Coming together as a family allows for collaboration, whether that’s sharing the cooking responsibilities or dividing the costs of gifts and decorations, making the season more manageable for everyone.
The Cons
Political Tensions. President Elect Donald Trump won the election, and the Republicans also won the House and Senate. This outcome certainly has been a joyous one for conservatives, but it has been very upsetting for liberals. Differing opinions among relatives may lead to uncomfortable or heated exchanges, dampening the festive spirit.
Financial Strain. The holidays can be an expensive time of year, and hosting or traveling for family gatherings adds to the burden. For some, these financial pressures may outweigh the joy of spending time together.
Emotional Strain. Unresolved family conflicts or strained relationships can come to the surface during close interactions. Long-standing tensions can turn what should be a joyful occasion into a stressful one.
Logistical Challenges. Coordinating a family gathering often involves juggling schedules, arranging meals, and finding suitable accommodations. These logistical demands can be exhausting, especially when trying to cater to everyone’s preferences.
Health Concerns. Large gatherings can pose health risks, especially for vulnerable family members. This concern has become even more prominent in recent years, with the ongoing potential for illness transmission.
Some Practical Tips
Set Ground Rules. Before the gathering, agree on certain boundaries to keep the environment peaceful. For instance, deciding to avoid topics like politics or sensitive family matters can reduce tension.
Plan Activities. Organized games, movie nights, or outdoor activities can keep everyone engaged and provide opportunities for bonding without conflict. Structured activities also help avoid idle moments where tensions might arise.
Express Gratitude. Focusing on gratitude can shift the tone of family interactions. Letting relatives know what you appreciate about them and the holiday season can create a more positive atmosphere.
Create a Neutral Space. Choose a setting that feels neutral and welcoming to all attendees. Whether it’s a relative’s home, a rented space, a restaurant or even a virtual gathering, ensure that everyone feels comfortable.
Be Inclusive. Make an effort to include everyone in conversations, activities, and planning. Showing appreciation for diverse opinions and experiences helps create a harmonious environment.
Some Things To Avoid
Bringing Up Politics. Divisive topics like politics can quickly derail the festivities. Unless everyone is open to a respectful discussion, it’s best to steer clear of these subjects.
Overindulging. While enjoying the holiday treats is part of the fun, excessive eating or drinking can lower inhibitions and lead to unfiltered comments or arguments.
Criticizing Others. Judgments about someone’s life choices, parenting style, or career can cause unnecessary friction. Focus on positive interactions rather than critiques.
Ignoring Boundaries. Respect personal boundaries, whether they involve space, time, or topics of conversation. Recognizing and honoring these limits shows consideration for others’ comfort.
Family gatherings during the holidays are a mix of opportunity and challenge. By focusing on shared values, expressing gratitude, and avoiding conflict-prone topics and behaviors, you can create a more harmonious and enjoyable holiday experience. Whether you’re celebrating traditions or building new memories, the key lies in balancing understanding, respect, and care for everyone involved.
Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.” ~ Edith Sitwell
Michael Oberschneider, Psy.D. “Dr. Mike” is a clinical psychologist in private practice.
He can be reached at 703-723-2999, and is located at 44095 Pipeline Plaza, Suite 240, Ashburn.