Ask Dr. Mike

3 Reasons Why Social Media Shouldn’t Be Your Therapist With technology being so present in our lives these days, it can be tempting to turn our friends into virtual therapists when we are in a bad place or need help.  And while it’s perfectly fine to reach out to friends on-line for general support, it’s entirely another thing to seek guidance for larger mental health problems.  If you personally struggle with depression, anxiety, or alcoholism/substance use, or if your marriage is in trouble, or if your child isn’t doing well, etc., your problems won’t be adequately addressed on social media [...]

Dr. Mike, My husband and I have done very well financially.  Neither of us came from money or inherited anything substantial, but we’ve worked hard and have acquired quite a bit of wealth.  For context, we live in a $12,000,000 house, and we have other properties, several businesses and a large amount of money saved and invested.  My husband is adamant that we should not leave a dime to our kids, and he believes they should instead work for everything like we did.  While I agree with him that our children need to find their own way in life, and [...]

Dr Mike, Our 18-year-old daughter who is a senior in high school, is addicted to her phone, and we don’t know what to do.  The phone is always in her hand, and even though my husband and I don’t disapprove of most of what she’s doing with the phone, we also think she’s on it way too much.  We’ve tried to set limits, we’ve taken it away, we’ve talked to her, but nothing has worked.  In fact, everything we’ve tried so far has led to tension, disagreements or really bad fights.  Her position is that she gets great grades, she [...]

What Is Collaborative Divorce And Is It Right For Me? Divorce is an inherently tumultuous life event that significantly impacts the emotional well-being of all those involved.  And, the approach to divorce can greatly influence the outcome, with collaborative divorce offering a less adversarial alternative to traditional litigation. This method, focusing on negotiation and mutual agreement outside of court, holds the potential to mitigate the emotional strain typically associated with divorce.  But what is collaborative divorce, and does it really work? Simply put, collaborative divorce is a process where divorcing couples agree to negotiate a settlement without going to court. [...]

What To Do When Your Child Is Pushed Out Of Their Friend Group Dr. Mike, - Our 11-year-old daughter (5th Grade) is having a terrible time at school this year because she’s being pushed out of her longtime friend group.  There wasn’t an incident as far as we know, but she doesn’t get invited to play and hang out much, she’s not invited to many birthday parties, and she’s being put down or left out on social media.  We’ve had many a tearful night, and our daughter is now wanting to transfer schools since the friend group goes to the [...]

Fentanyl Strikes Loudoun County:  What Every Parent Needs to Know Nine students from Park View High School in Sterling, Virginia overdosed on suspected Fentanyl use this school year with eight of the overdoses occurring in just the last three weeks.  It was reported in the news that three of those students overdosed while at school and were administered Naloxone, and two of the students additionally received CPR.  Naloxone (brand name: Narcan) is a drug that is used to treat opioid overdoses. As a clinical psychologist in Loudoun County, I’ve seen, countless times, the devastating impact of drugs on our children [...]

Is Emotional Cheating Real? What To Do If It Happens In today's interconnected world, relationships have evolved in myriad ways, and while physical infidelity is well recognized, another form of betrayal, often less visible but equally impactful, has emerged -- emotional cheating. As a psychologist in private practice, the topic of emotional cheating or emotional affairs comes up often.  Just this past week, a client’s girlfriend became upset when she discovered that the client “liked” his ex’s social media post.  Over the years, several of my married clients have also shared with me that they’ve secretly reconnected with an old [...]

Discussing Separation or Divorce with Children Separation and divorce is fraught with emotional upheaval and adjustments; and as parents, sharing the news with your children can be a very challenging moment.  However, as difficult as that moment can be, there are compassionate and effective communication strategies that can significantly influence how your children navigate the forthcoming loss and all of the changes and adjustments that go with it. When discussing separation and divorce with your children, it’s important to keep in mind that the goal is to deliver the message with warmth, clarity and simplicity.  What exactly you share and [...]

Dr. Mike, My husband is very strict and hard on our three boys, and he is a big believer in “Commando Parenting.”  Sometimes it’s too much on our kids. The other day I found my oldest who’s 14 years old crying alone in his bedroom during the day after his dad removed his mattress, bedding, clothes, and devices for not getting straight A’s.  Our son had to do his chores and homework to earn his things back – one at a time.  To earn back his mattress, sheets and blanket, our son had to do everything my husband said just [...]

9 Tips to Loving (and Liking) Your Spouse Again Do you find yourself in a marriage where you love your spouse, but privately and deep down inside, you don’t necessarily like him or her very much anymore? If you answered “yes” know that you are not alone.  Research studies have shown that as many as 6 out of 10 married couples are unhappy, and those studies cite several factors contributing to marital unhappiness including: a sex life with diminishing returns, financial stress, preoccupation with technology, dishonesty, a lack of communication, adultery and men taking their women for granted when it [...]