Ask Dr. Mike

Dr. Mike, My wife has decided that she does not want us to go to the beach for our annual big family beach gathering this July because of coronavirus.  Even though all of our extended family are just going to pile into a huge beach house rental, she’s afraid that we or our kids will somehow “get sick and die.”  I think she’s being completely crazy about the beach and everything else with the virus.  She wipes down our delivered groceries before putting them away, she makes us all take showers after we return home from being outside in the [...]

5 Psychological Tips To Help You Get Through The Quarantine While no one knows for certain when the coronavirus will end, it appears that the virus and quarantine will continue on for now.  This has been a very difficult time for us all; and, for many across the U.S. (and the rest of the world) our social, work, school and financial lives have been upended beyond belief.  This has understandably led to increased stress and other sorts of emotional struggles. As a psychologist in private practice, I wholly appreciate that the coronavirus and the quarantine have impacted us all differently, [...]

The recent college admissions scandal has sent a shock wave throughout the country, and the topic has come up for me repeatedly with parents. The scandal has caused the parents I see to more immediately deal with the anxiety they experience regarding their children’s academic futures. College has historically been the path many take toward achieving later vocational success. How do you get your kid into college? It’s not your job to get your kid in college, it’s your kid’s job to do that. As the old adage goes, “You can bring a horse to water, but you can’t make him [...]

Dr. Mike, We found a Juul and other vaping gear in our 14-year-old son’s backpack recently and confronted him. It took some pressure, but he eventually owned up to it. He also eventually accepted our zero tolerance for vaping due to its harmful side-effects, most notably nicotine addiction. Well, kids will be clever, and now he’s asked us if he could vape without nicotine. He says vaping “calms” him and that everyone is doing it every day, and what’s the big deal if there’s no nicotine in it. My husband and I see his point of view but still feel [...]

At what point does getting a job make sense for you and your teen? In Virginia, teens as young as 14 years of age can work, albeit in a limited capacity, but it’s not uncommon for teens between the ages of 16 and 19 to have a part-time job – both during the summer and the school year. The benefits to working for teens are numerous, and I’ve listed the main ones here: Having a job as a teen pays off academically. Research in this area of study has repeatedly shown that teens who work actually do better in school. [...]

Dr. Mike, My husband and I recently dropped off our last child (our son) at college.  Initially, I shed a few tears but was more focused on my happiness for him.  Well, fast forward two weeks, and I’m miserable. Sad, anxious, empty, and even angry at times. I’m also feeling very guilty about being a working mom, and now regret that I didn’t spend more time with all of our children when they were growing up.  My husband keeps telling me that I’m a “great mom” but I don’t want to hear it, and I’m even fighting about the smallest things [...]

Dr. Mike, Our son left for college this fall, and while he’s doing great academically, my husband and I are concerned about some of the things we’ve seen on his social media.  There are lots of references to pot and alcohol.  We’ve raised our children to know better, and we are very upset to see the choices he is making at school.  As Christians, we are also concerned about a couple of his pro atheism postings, and his involvement with the Secular Student Alliance on campus.  We’ve tried to talk to him about our concerns, but he has gotten angry, [...]

Dr. Mike, We recently had a meeting with our son’s preschool teacher who told my husband and I that she thinks our son is autistic.  She said that our son has social problems and anxiety, and that he becomes “out of control” when excited.  She said that he has idiosyncrasies like walking on his toes and going over his favorite movie lines with other kids in class, and that these behaviors are typical behaviors of autistic children.  She recommended that our son participate in a neuropsychological evaluation.  While my husband and I see some of the things our son’s teacher [...]