The Story of Two Goats And Your Vote: How to Manage Yourself After The Election
Once upon a time, in a certain forest, there lived a Black Goat and a White Goat. One day, as fate would have it, they both needed to cross a narrow bridge. Unfortunately, the bridge was so narrow that it only had enough space for one goat to cross at a time.
The Black Goat arrived on one side of the bridge, while the White Goat approached from the other. Both goats were determined to cross first, and thus an argument ensued. Each goat was unwilling to yield to the other.
Despite their efforts, the dispute remained unresolved, and they ended up butting heads with each other. As a result, both goats tumbled off the bridge and into the stream below.
The moral of this Aesop’s fable is to teach us the importance of cooperation and compromise in resolving conflicts; to yield by setting aside stubborn pride and anger during disagreement or difficult times. Had the goats in the story worked together they could have found a resolution and crossed the river safely. Instead, their refusal to cooperate and compromise led to their mutual downfall.
In my opinion, this very old and simple story perfectly captures our country’s current troubling ethos where being right is more important than getting along. As a therapist in private practice, I’ve seen important relationships strained and even end due to political position and disagreement this election cycle. Unfortunately, for many, when it comes to today’s main topics — the economy, abortion, immigration and the border, foreign policy, taxes, gun policy, healthcare, climate change – it seems that we’ve never been more divided as a Nation.
On Tuesday, November 5th, 2024, either Former President Donald Trump or Vice President Kamala Harris will win the election. The race is predicted to be close, but even if the votes are still being counted after, there will be a presumptive winner.
Regardless of who wins the election, I invite you to reflect on how you want to manage yourself afterward. Here are a few tips to consider:
Celebrate With Respect. If your candidate wins, it’s perfectly fine to enjoy the moment and victory. You’re likely going to feel great that the country is aligned enough to vote in someone who shares your beliefs, values and vision for the U.S. At the same time, I encourage you to refrain from gloating or being dismissive to others who are upset by the outcome.
Work Toward Acceptance. If your candidate loses, you are likely going to contend with some strong, negative feelings. Accepting the outcome will be easier when you focus on self-care and when you turn to your friends and family for support. Keep things in perspective, and don’t act like the country is ending and don’t speak negatively or catastrophically about your future or the future of others. Remember, in a democracy there will always be losses and gains, and there’s also always another election to come.
Listen, Understand And Cultivate Humility: Instead of questioning and challenging the beliefs of others, turn inward to reflect on your own. I encourage you to find common ground on issues when you can. Be mindful that being open minded to others’ perspectives and views can serve to help you grow and learn. So, instead of arguing about the border with someone, for example, listen carefully to what is being said and try to appreciate the counter viewpoint. Sharing your views on topics in a respectful manner will also help others to stretch themselves. Also, being kind and considerate can help bridge divides and foster a more positive and collaborative environment.
Get Involved: Joining a group or volunteering for an organization that shares your political views will also likely be helpful. I’m a huge fan of the group, Building Bridgers, which brings people together with diverse political views to engage in structured and productive dialogue toward unity.
Get Help. If the election outcome proves to be too much to handle emotionally, entering counseling or psychotherapy for support and guidance may be a good thing to do. There are times in life for all of us when events can lead to problems such as depression, anxiety, increased alcohol or substance use, and it’s not a moral flaw or weakness in those moments to seek out help.
So, for the next four years, do you want to be the goat on the bridge that fails due to hubris and a closed mind, or do you want to be the goat that crosses successfully by focusing on finding common ground and agreement with others?
I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as a cause for withdrawing from a friend.
~Thomas Jefferson
Michael Oberschneider, Psy.D. “Dr. Mike” is a clinical psychologist in private practice.
He can be reached at 703-723-2999, and is located at 44095 Pipeline Plaza, Suite 240, Ashburn.