Finding Gratitude and Harmony This Holiday Season

Have you ever left a holiday gathering feeling drained—not from the food, but from the tension in the air or disagreements over sensitive topics? In a time when heated debates about politics, money, and religion often overshadow the joy of togetherness, the winter holidays can easily become a source of stress instead of gratitude.
This year, what if we chose a different path? What if we focused on getting along rather than being right, embracing gratitude even when we don’t see eye to eye, and savoring the moments with those we care about?
The key to a peaceful and meaningful holiday season is to prioritize harmony over disagreement. Avoiding divisive topics at the table, especially politics, can keep the mood light and joyful. Instead, choose conversations that bring laughter, shared memories, and understanding. After all, the goal is to connect, not to convince. In fact, research shows that families who share positive interactions during meals tend to have lower stress and greater emotional well-being.
Even when perspectives differ, there is much to appreciate—family, health, friendship, and community. Practicing gratitude reminds us that no matter what our differences, we share many common blessings. Studies have shown that regularly expressing gratitude can lower blood pressure, improve sleep, and boost happiness. Gratitude invites patience, kindness, and grace, creating an atmosphere where everyone feels valued. Let’s strive to embrace gratitude over differences. A simple ritual, like having everyone share something they’re thankful for, can shift the focus to what unites us.
It’s important to also remember that there are many who are alone, struggling, or less fortunate during this season. Volunteering can be a wonderful way to give back, extend kindness, and truly embrace the spirit of being thankful. Psychologists have found that helping others can actually boost your own mood, thanks to a rush of feel-good chemicals sometimes called the “helper’s high.” Whether helping at a food bank, delivering meals to those in need, or simply reaching out to neighbors who may be isolated, these acts of service deepen our own gratitude and connection to community.

Quality connection requires presence. This means putting aside smartphones and devices and giving loved ones our undivided attention. Research has shown that “phubbing”—snubbing someone in favor of your phone—can harm relationships and decrease feelings of closeness. Whether enjoying a movie or a football game together, going for a walk outside or exercising, cooking, or shopping together, limiting distractions enriches our shared experiences and deepens bonds. Let’s strive to be fully present by unplugging from our devices.
Enjoy food and drink in moderation to stay energized and comfortable throughout the day. After the meal, a group walk, a nap, or a gentle activity can refresh both body and mind, enhancing the holiday spirit. Physical movement is proven to release mood-boosting endorphins and help counteract stress. Let’s strive to cultivate moderation, rest, and movement.
The holiday season is a perfect time to serve others and reflect with optimism on our lives. Are your relationships healthy? Are you finding balance? Positive reflection helps us grow and prepare for the months ahead. Journaling, or sharing highlights from the past year, can strengthen optimism and connection.
A few extra tips for a meaningful holiday:
- Set boundaries: If certain topics are off-limits, communicate this kindly before gatherings.
- Practice self-care: Take breaks when needed; even a few minutes of deep breathing can reset your mood.
- Express appreciation: A handwritten note or a heartfelt compliment can go a long way.

This holiday season, choose gratitude, connection, and peace.
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
~ Melody Beattie

Michael Oberschneider, Psy.D, NCCE, NCPC, is a Nationally Certified Custody Evaluator and Parenting Coordinator in private practice in Northern Virginia. Much of Dr. Oberschneider’s practice is dedicated to working with families who are going through high-conflict divorces. www.ashburnpsych.com