Ask Dr. Mike

What Is Collaborative Divorce And Is It Right For Me? Divorce is an inherently tumultuous life event that significantly impacts the emotional well-being of all those involved.  And, the approach to divorce can greatly influence the outcome, with collaborative divorce offering a less adversarial alternative to traditional litigation. This method, focusing on negotiation and mutual agreement outside of court, holds the potential to mitigate the emotional strain typically associated with divorce.  But what is collaborative divorce, and does it really work? Simply put, collaborative divorce is a process where divorcing couples agree to negotiate a settlement without going to court. [...]

What To Do When Your Child Is Pushed Out Of Their Friend Group Dr. Mike, - Our 11-year-old daughter (5th Grade) is having a terrible time at school this year because she’s being pushed out of her longtime friend group.  There wasn’t an incident as far as we know, but she doesn’t get invited to play and hang out much, she’s not invited to many birthday parties, and she’s being put down or left out on social media.  We’ve had many a tearful night, and our daughter is now wanting to transfer schools since the friend group goes to the [...]

Fentanyl Strikes Loudoun County:  What Every Parent Needs to Know Nine students from Park View High School in Sterling, Virginia overdosed on suspected Fentanyl use this school year with eight of the overdoses occurring in just the last three weeks.  It was reported in the news that three of those students overdosed while at school and were administered Naloxone, and two of the students additionally received CPR.  Naloxone (brand name: Narcan) is a drug that is used to treat opioid overdoses. As a clinical psychologist in Loudoun County, I’ve seen, countless times, the devastating impact of drugs on our children [...]

Is Emotional Cheating Real? What To Do If It Happens In today's interconnected world, relationships have evolved in myriad ways, and while physical infidelity is well recognized, another form of betrayal, often less visible but equally impactful, has emerged -- emotional cheating. As a psychologist in private practice, the topic of emotional cheating or emotional affairs comes up often.  Just this past week, a client’s girlfriend became upset when she discovered that the client “liked” his ex’s social media post.  Over the years, several of my married clients have also shared with me that they’ve secretly reconnected with an old [...]

Discussing Separation or Divorce with Children Separation and divorce is fraught with emotional upheaval and adjustments; and as parents, sharing the news with your children can be a very challenging moment.  However, as difficult as that moment can be, there are compassionate and effective communication strategies that can significantly influence how your children navigate the forthcoming loss and all of the changes and adjustments that go with it. When discussing separation and divorce with your children, it’s important to keep in mind that the goal is to deliver the message with warmth, clarity and simplicity.  What exactly you share and [...]

Dr. Mike, My husband is very strict and hard on our three boys, and he is a big believer in “Commando Parenting.”  Sometimes it’s too much on our kids. The other day I found my oldest who’s 14 years old crying alone in his bedroom during the day after his dad removed his mattress, bedding, clothes, and devices for not getting straight A’s.  Our son had to do his chores and homework to earn his things back – one at a time.  To earn back his mattress, sheets and blanket, our son had to do everything my husband said just [...]

9 Tips to Loving (and Liking) Your Spouse Again Do you find yourself in a marriage where you love your spouse, but privately and deep down inside, you don’t necessarily like him or her very much anymore? If you answered “yes” know that you are not alone.  Research studies have shown that as many as 6 out of 10 married couples are unhappy, and those studies cite several factors contributing to marital unhappiness including: a sex life with diminishing returns, financial stress, preoccupation with technology, dishonesty, a lack of communication, adultery and men taking their women for granted when it [...]

8 Tips to Coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), also known as “The Winter Blues” or “Winter Depression,” is a type of depression that affects over 10 million Americans each year. And research has shown that 10 percent to 20 percent of folks may struggle with a milder form of SAD. SAD is a depression that occurs based on seasons; symptoms for the Winter variant begin in the Fall and dissipate by Spring. Women are impacted more than men, and the condition typically begins around 20. SAD symptoms include: weight gain, oversleeping, having an increased craving for [...]

4 Tips For How To Talk To Your Children About The UVA Shooting As a child psychologist, I mainly address the developmental, emotional, social and behavioral struggles of children, but sometimes the realities of the world enter the therapy space — events that are outside a child’s control and are upsetting.  And, the recent tragic shooting at the University of Virginia has been upsetting to so many children (older and younger) and parents in our community. Several of the teens I see have shared their concerns with me asserting, “I was going to apply to UVA next year,” and “Do [...]